Dealing with Disappointment

Happy Birthday to Me:

One of the first disappointments of my life came on my 9th birthday.

I had been planning my party for weeks.  Invitations had been sent out to every kid in my class l.  The local putt-putt course had been reserved.  An oversized cake and order of pizzas were on their way.  I personally made it a point to tell the golf course manager to have plenty of extra clubs ready to go for the throngs of people sure to attend my celebration.

At school on Friday, the day before the party, I reminded everyone of the next day’s event. Saturday dawned, I danced around the house getting ready and by mid morning we drove to the party spot where I was positive there would be no room to park for all the cars delivering guests.

Pulling into the empty parking lot it suddenly struck me that things were not going to run according to plan.  In the end, the only attendees were my family and two friends who would have come no matter when or where my birthday was being celebrated.

The let down was enormous.I felt ashamed, embarrassed, and ultimately disappointed.

I am a September baby.  Nothing is inherently bad about this fact.   There are; however, major setbacks to having a grand birthday bash in early September in the deep south unless you want to go with a football theme.  Nobody cares much about a birthday celebration when there are tickets to an SEC football game on hand.

Early Experiences:

We rarely, if ever, talk about disappointment.

It’s just not a nice thing to discuss.

As a newly turned 9 year old, I learned this fact on mulitiple levels.

Disappointment is probably an early experience with the real world for most of us.

Perhaps it is encountered for the first time in rather innocuous ways:

we don’t get the birthday present we hoped for

we don’t get picked first for the team we want to play for

we are let down by a friend or family member

then

as we grow

the realities of disappointment can drastically add up:

our marriage isn’t going as we expected

our career is falling short of our anticipated hopes

our children, parents, spouse, colleagues- fill in the blank here- aren’t who we hoped/expected they would be or did not do what we hoped/expected they would do.

God Knows:

Fairly soon, if we started to tally up our life’s disappointments, our prayer journal would look more scribbled upon than we would care to admit.

Galatians 6:9 says, “  Do not become weary in doing good, for at the right moment in time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

I think the Bible shares this with us because God knows and understands our human condition. Which is to say, God knows and understands our ability to become frustrated and downtrodden.  Also, God knows and understands the world that we live in is fraught with challenges and let downs.

While we might not want to share our personal encounters of disappointment with others, reality remains the same.  We all deal with suffering, disappointment, and loss.

7 Steps to Deal with Disappointment:

If we were to only read Galatians 6:9 we could be heartily encouraged. But the larger context of Galatians chapter 6 specifies tangible ways that we can faithfully respond to life’s disappointments:

1.)Recognize God’s Spirit is present.

2.)Respond with gentleness and humility.

3.)Take time for self-reflection

4.)Do not make rash decisions or promises in reaction to your disappointment.

5.)Do not compare yourself to others.

6.)Receive instruction in God’s word.

7.)Share the good news of God’s presence with others.

There is nothing like disappointment that can leave us feeling lost and hopeless. When you do, stop and remember these seven steps.

Application:

L1: Write down the words of Galatians 6:9 on a piece of paper, place the paper in your pocket or wallet and read it once daily for a week.  When the next disappointment in life comes your way pull out the paper and write it on the back side then read Galatians 6:9 again.  Repeat as often as necessary.

L2: Make a list of the disappointments you have experienced in your life.  Spend time in quiet reflection with this list.  Next, when you feel ready, rip the list up and place it in a small fire and as it burns read the words of Galatians 6:9.

L3: Perform application for L2.  Then, write a list of all the ways you have disappointed others.  Spend time in prayer with this list and for each disappointment define one way that you have or can make amends.  Follow through with your list of making amends and after each one has been met burn your the list in a small fire and read Galatians 6:9.

May the Road Rise Up to Meet Y’all,

Rev. Wren Clanton