Keys to Surviving Change & Trauma

When I moved away from home to go to school, I cried myself to sleep every night for the first week.

I had wanted to go to this school. I had begged for the change, studied with a tutor to get the needed entrance exam scores, and worked extra hours to help pay my way.

I was happy, elated even, to be living into my dream, but embracing the future I had longed for meant saying good bye to the home I had always known.  

Grief and trauma are not exclusive to negative, abusive, or sorrowful events.  

Whether you’ve lost a loved one, jumped into a new career, said good bye to an abusive relationship, or begun the journey into parenthood the consistent reality of change brings with it the challenge of trauma and grief. 

There is grief, pain, and trauma even in the midst of positive life changes: leaving home, coming of age, starting a new job, dating, sabbatical, preparing for marriage, welcoming a new child, purchasing a home, promotion, moving to a new place, retirement, empty nesting, menopause.  

These changes are positive but bring with them loss that can be as traumatic as death.  

Through the years these keys to surviving change and trauma have helped me and countless others face the future with less fear and more hope.  I pray they do the same for you!

Keys to Surviving Change & Trauma:

• Each individual processes emotions individually

• There is no such thing as “closure”

• There will never be a return to “how things were”

• The goal is to establish, in the long run, a new normal

• It is natural to isolate but not healthy

• You will want to repress or deny what you’re experiencing

• What you are experiencing is painful

• The pain will subside more quickly if you can sit with and lean into the experience 

• It is okay to cry and it is okay to laugh the key is creating a safe space for no judgement.

• Dealing with Change and Trauma is a marathon not a race

• Don’t overestimate what you can do in the short term 

• Don’t underestimate what can happen in the long-term

• Embrace this truth: We like to think that we’re thinking beings who sometimes feel but the reality is that we’re feeling beings who sometimes think. – Dr. Brene’ Brown

• Hold a tangible sign of hope daily ( this can be a cross, coin, prayer shawl, etc.) 

• Ask for specific help from individuals you trust, even when you don’t want to. 

• Seek out and set aside time to work with support experts who can be objective ( ie. counselors, psychiatrist, doctors, pastors,  massage therapists, nutritionist, spiritual director, trainer etc.)

Let me know which of these is most helpful to you!  

Blessings Y’all

Rev.Wren